Amazing Blessings...

When we started the adoption journey in early November, I never would have believed where it would take us. I never would have believed we would love two girls as our own, I never would have guessed the emotions felt, or the moments in everyday life when I have wished the children were with me. Perhaps the best, and most surprising piece, is the people we have met and the support we have been given. This past weekend a girlfriend of mine helped sell $723 of donated goods for us at the flea market. All free goods for 100% profit- amazing! We also found a local Congolese church and went to a service...again amazing! It was all in Swahilli, but since we were obvious visitors the paster translated for us. The music alone was pure joy and completely spectacular! The people were so warm and welcoming to us, not to mention beautiful. It made me want the girls so bad, but all in good time I guess. Adoption is definately not for the faint of heart, but the amazing blessings from it are worth every piece of paper, every class and every night awake hoping the girls will be Ok. Thank you

Lost at Sea...

Some days I feel totally lost about this whole adoption thing. Part of that lost feeling comes the fact that so many other people control the adoption process- and as a person who like to be in control that is a difficult place to be in!

In many ways having others in control is awesome- we want to make sure orphanages are not corrupt, countries are trying to keep biological families together and not just any insane and unfit person brings a kid home (of course that person can always just reproduce and bring a baby home, but I digress...); and being a superwoman or not, one person cannot do all that.

The other side if it is complete trust. Here is just a short list of all the people we have to trust in order to make this happen, in no particular order and probably missing  a few:
   - God, or whomever you believe controls our destiny
   - Your spouse
   - The notary
   - The agency
   - The orphanage
   - The US government
   - USCIS
   - Congo laywer
   - Congo judge
   - The girls chaperone and caretakers
   - The airlines to get us there safely and back, and the girls to Kinshasa
   - Congo government
   - US Embassy
   - DRC doctors
   - FedEX or the US post
   - Your bank
   - US doctors (for immunizations and health letters)
   - Personal references
   - Email providers
   - Parenting class teachers
   - Your social worker
   - Other adoptive parents to give you information/help
   - etc, etc, etc
As adoptive parents, we actually have little personal interaction with a lot of the people on this list. If that isn't a leap of faith I don't know what is! We are forced to believe in the good of people, and that they are doing the best they can or know how.

Sitting here waiting for court with no power to see the outcome or timeframe, it's no wonder I feel lost at sea-

Check one more off..

     Finally, the dossier was sent into the Congo this week! We have our USCIS fingerprints next week, and then we wait again. With the current time frames, it looks like we will be going in August to get the girls...5 more months. I will get to meet them before their birthdays, yeah!!
     I keep telling myself to enjoy these last months of coupledom. Right now Matt and I can go to any movie we want at any time. We can go have drinks and not worry, we only have ourselves to really care about. It will be such a change when the girls get here, but a change we are looking forward to.
   A girlfriend of mine and I are going to the flea market March 24 to sell all we can. I have been blessed with a lot of good donations we get to keep 100% of the profits from. I hope we make a lot! We need 3 airplane tickets that will be somewhere around $6000. Of course $6000 might be stretching it for a flea market sale, but a girl can always hope.
   We also have been given many donations for the girls thrmselves. I can see how a house (and a mom!) can easily get overwhelmed with toys and clothes. I feel so lucky to have such great people in our lives willing to fully support our decision to expand our family.Thank you all for all you do!
    

Feels like Spring!

It is so beautiful out today! All the doors and windows are open in the house, it really feels like Spring; I love it!

Matt and I finally bought the girls beds. Two twins with drawers underneath, white, and only about a foot off the ground. We haven't put them together yet. I think both of us feel like it will be so long until they come home that we don't want to have everything done and then sit and look at it for months. Baby steps to getting ready.

The room decor is kind of picked out though. Not girlie in the least, princesses and pink are so not us! The final colors are...bright and colorful! Color blocked quilts with orange polka dot sheets for Sara, purple polks dots for Nahlya; a bubblegum tree on the wall (personalized to them, not like in the picture below :))  and cool Moroccan poufs to sit in. I can't wait to start decorating!

   

I600A & Care Packages

Early Thursday morning I checked my email before work and found out USCIS has received our I600A and now we can wait for them to appoint a fingerprinting. Now remember, Matt works for the FAA and I teach, so we are both cleared of any criminal misgivings through work background checks. We also were cleared again with the state and the FBI checks in December for the dossier. I know it is a formality, but really? Don't our passports and driver's license prove who we are? So, we wait again...    

On another note, our agency is letting us send care packages to the girls, even though our stuff is not in the DRC yet...I so wish I could be there to see their beautiful faces when they get them! Everyone loves to get things in the mail regardless of age. It is a big responsibility giving them things to nourish their cognitive and physical needs in a gallon sized baggie! But, actually a lot fit in.

Here is what we came up with:

For Sara:


For Nahlya:


I also put a small bag of Oreo mini cookies in each for good measure (I figure even if they get crushed, they will still be yummy). For now we are keeping the packages generic- no photos or anything personal until they know they will have a family. We also made sure there are enough stickers for all the kids in the orphanage and vitamins to share as well (Google translated into French, there isn't any Chiluba dictionary to be found).

I am so happy we can do this every month until they come home! In a small way I feel I am taking care of them and strengthing a bond I already feel from so far away. Of course, now I can start planning the one for March...shoes? Another cute dress? Ideas welcome!

Paper Pregnancy

Personally I have never actually been pregnant. I assume I can be, but it has never been anything I really want to experience. Don't get me wrong, I am sure a kid with Matt's curly hair and my blue eyes would be adorable...but that's not important. What's important is raising a kid to contribute to the world, what's important is the daily love and struggles a family has; not how the baby came to be on this earth.

I have heard through pregnant friends that pregnancy brings out the true emotional state of a woman, well, my friends, this must be why they call adoption a paper pregnancy! There are some days I can't stop looking at Nahlya and Sara's pictures, and there are some days I don't want to for fear they won't be ours for whatever reason.

I want to start getting their room ready and really personalizing the house to be theirs too, but at the same time it seems a bit early. When does a truly pregnant couple start these steps? We are about 5 months out until the birth of our new family (I hope, if not sooner!).

Adoption, just like pregnancy, is a waiting game full of unknowns. Both are emotional, and in both you  must go through daily motions assuming everything is fine and the kid will turn out perfect. I "borrowed" this picture from another blogger, and it really represents how I feel...


So,while I don't have any crazy cravings or morning sickness, I do have the other symptoms and feelings of an expectant mom... reading everything I can about what to expect, imagining how they will fit into my arms and what they will be like, going to the doctor for health checks, and probably bugging Matt a bit too much about the whole thing. Not to mention that if the agency is right, our family will have been born in about 9 months from start to finish, and we knew it was two girls at about the 4 month mark.

It is perfect, a paper pregnancy...

Parenting Classes Done!

We just finished 16 hours of parenting classes in two days. If every parent, biological or not, had to take these we would have a totally different world, for the better! We learned how to bond and form attachment, how to answer the tough questions about birth families, the best discipline principles and, perhaps the most interesting, brain development.

Here is an image from class:



What is it? A to scale brain scan of a normal 3 year old boy and a to scale brain scan of a boy who was neglected. Now, the neglected boy was almost feral for his first few years, and I don't imagine Sara and Nahlya are that bad off looking at their pictures (please God don't let them be!), but I don't believe they are constantly cuddled and nourished either. It is freightening to see the results of neglect!

The good news is a child of neglect can have much of the damage reversed with attention, love and sheer patient will-power from the parents. I look at the road we will have to travel once home and wonder if we are strong enough to pull this off. I feel as ready as I can be knowing I will never really be ready. BUT, I want them here like yesterday and know we will do everything we can and more to see the survival and health of the girls flourish. Someday we will be amazed how strong we were and how far we came...

Now, I may start looking into getting my own brain scan, and Matt's and Mystic's and .... doesn't it make you wonder???